Friday, 25 November 2011

Hi, I'm Lauren and I'll be your waitress tonight.

I am pleased to announce that I am now an official employee of The Olive Grove restaurant in Canterbury. I even have an apron and an order pad.

This is very good news, for several reasons. Firstly, I really need the pennies. Like, seriously need them. Because I'm in my final year of uni I get about £500 less a term than I have done for previous years. This would be fine if I had a lovely rich mummy and daddy to take the fall for me financially, but unfortunately they're almost as poverty as I am so nothing doing. It also means that I'm going to have to pull my finger out and get myself organised uni work-wise. I've slipped into the dangerous habit of thinking of Wednesday-Sunday as my 'five day weekend', which generally means I get to Sunday afternoon and panic over how much work I haven't done over the last four days. You'd think I'd have learnt by now, wouldn't you?! Hopefully having some sort of routine on those days will keep me motivated and stop me from lounging around all day watching Bones/Castle/CSI/House/True Blood or whatever the latest obsession is.

On the other hand, me having a job is also very bad news, for one reason...I don't actually like working. And I especially don't like working with the public. Sorry, but I don't. I was put on this earth to be a solitary lady of leisure. This is not to say that I'm some weird recluse with no social skills, because I'm not. Well, I'm not a weird recluse...the social skills bit is debatable. I enjoy spending time with certain people, like my family and friends and housemates, but that's only because they (for the most part) have known me for a long time and know we well. Even then I get a bit fidgety after a while and have to go chill out on my own for a bit. I can count on one hand the number of people that I could spend more than 24 hours with and not want to throttle. I'm pretty sure that's not normal, right? Well anyway, normal or not, that's me and 'me' doesn't tend to go well with a hot, crowded restaurant full of idiots. Fortunately the people I work with all seem to be really lovely, otherwise there would be all sorts of issues!

In other news, you may have noticed that my usual Wednesday Weigh-In post was conspicuous only in its absence this week...yeah, I was totes hiding from you all because I gained. A completely justified 2lbs, if you're interested. I blame it on the 10-hour long cinema trip on Thursday (Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse, followed by the midnight viewing of Breaking Dawn part 1. I was literally in sexy vampire and werewolf heaven. R-Pattz, why are you so perfect!?) I went with Mumma Jones, and we had lots of chocolate and other goodies as sustenance. I should probably feel worse about it than I do, but it was worth it.

I have also truly overcome 'the fear' and have now been to three different fitness classes. Time was I would do anything to avoid setting foot in a fitness studio. Gym, fine. Classes, no way Pedro. Now it seems to be a different story, and so far I've been to Spin (love), Deep Aqua (love) and won't believe this...fucking ZUMBA of all things. I have always hated anything even remotely dance-oriented. I can't dance at all. The only time I can dance is when I'm very drunk, and even then I'm not actually dancing well. I just think I am because I have a tiny Bacardi-susceptible mind that lets me think I'm Beyonce after a couple of bevvies - like on Wednesday night. We went out for two of my housemates 21st birthdays, and I was owning that dance floor. Until I fell over on it. So yeah, moral of the story? Just don't drink. Ever. Under any circumstances. Anyway, back to Zumba...I'm shit at it. Literally, so bad. I have no rhythm, no coordination, no nothing. And to make matters worse the instructor kept yelling 'be sexy when you do this move' and then gyrating her hips and wiggling her bazoomas at us. Now firstly, I don't have any bazoomas to wiggle, particularly when I'm strapped into a (very saucy & flattering) sports bra. And secondly, I don't have a sexy bone in my body - particularly not when I'm wearing skanky gym clothes and sweating like a fat bird at a disco (which, in fairness, I kind of was at the time). After 7 years of trying to be a sexy minx like all the other girls, I've now accepted the fact that I'm just not in any way 'sexy' - and when I try to be I just come across as really awkward and uncomfortable and a bit socially retarded. This is fine by me, I'm ok with not being sexy. I've found ways around it. But apparently there is no way around it in a Zumba class. Its a requirement. If you're not sexy, you're doing it wrong.

I think I'll stick to Spinning.

There really isn't anything else to update you my drunken fug on Wednesday I didn't even manage to get any blogworthy pictures! Which is fine, because I was rocking my birthday dress again. Thats birthday dress, by the way. Not birthday suit. I wasn't that hammered.

I hope every body has had a glorious week and has lots of exciting things lined up for the weekend! I myself have a Spin class and three shifts at the restaurant in store! Lucky girl, eh!?

Lauren xxx


  1. On the solitary isolation thing - I don't even need a hand to count the number of people I could spend 24 hours with - so I guess you're a bit nicer than me! haha. neglected to mention how much we laughed in think you're uncoordinated with no rhythm.....but you've seen me!! I am so so so so so much worse than you!! Next time, I'm cracking open the booze before I go...that way I might find my inner beyonce!!

    On another legs are still shaking from spin....and I know they are going to hurt soon.....when are we next going?!

    Oh and the Monday night zumba lady....isn't sexy either... which is good for my superunsexyself!

    Liz xx


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