The more astute readers among you may have noticed something of an increase in the number of blog updates over the last week or so...I've gone from one or two a week for four within the space of five days. I'd like to pretend that this is simply because I am a devoted blogger and am dedicated to sharing this part of my life with you all. Hell, I could even get on board with pretending that writing all this stuff down is helping me emotionally in some way. Often writing things down on this blog does make me feel better, and I am certainly devoted to keeping you all informed, however on this occasion it is neither of the above that are motivating my increased time in blog-land. It is, quite simply, the fact that I should be revising.
I should be revising now. I should be revising from the minute I get up til at least 10pm every night. I should be revising a variety of different writers and critical material and should by now be feeling reasonably confident about my exams. Which, by the way, start in nine days. Thats nine days, folks. NINE!
Needless to say, I'm not revising as much as I should be. I have tried. I mean, I've really, really tried. The trouble is, I have the attention span of an ADHD three-year-old who has spent the afternoon eating 40 tubes of Smarties. And I'm talking old-school Smarties, by the way. Before they banned all the chemicals and e-numbers. I'm talking the little drops of chocolate and sugar goodness that used to have kids bouncing off the ceiling after eating a handful. Those kind of Smarties.
I know you all think I'm exaggerating, but I'm really not. I just can't concentrate on anything. I'm not just talking about uni work here either - I can't even have a conversation on the phone without getting distracted. The chances of me sitting through an entire film are slim to nothing and I've practically given up on watching TV - I only have to watch it again online later the same evening because I missed most of it anyway. Part of me would like to think that this is an indication of some sort of super-intelligence, and that I can't focus for very long because the inane tasks in front of me are too dull to occupy my nuclear-powered brain. However I'm not delusional, and therefore know that this probably isn't the case. Far more likely that I have undiagnosed ADHD or something.
As well as my very limited attention span, I'm also the worlds worst procrastinator - anyone who has been reading this blog for a while will know this, because as well as exams I'm also on here wasting time whenever I've got an essay due in. Give me one simple, painless, ten-minute task and I can give you a thousand reasons as to why I can't do it now, but 'I'll definitely do it tomorrow'. For example, my dishes. They've been piling up over the last few days, and every time I've walked through the kitchen I've thought to myself....'probably should wash those up...nah, it can wait for one more day'. It was only this evening when I was faced with the decision of washing up or picking up a book that I finally poured soap onto a scourer and got down to it. And then once I was finished I was really pissed off because I had no other excuses not to study. So I came on here. What is wrong with me!?
Other people don't have this problem. They get up, they sit, they study, they focus, they walk away at the end of the day having accomplished something. Why can't I do that? Why can't my tiny mind concentrate for more than fifteen minutes at a time? Its grossly unfair. And will inevitably lead to me failing my exams and dropping out of university. You might as well sign me up for jobseekers allowance now and get it over and done with!
Ok...I think I'm done ranting now. And yes, I am aware that this post is more or less identical in content to at least three others that I've done within the last six months - I'm telling you, its an illness! It also has nothing whatsoever to do with Weight Watchers or there being 'a little less of Lauren' - although in fairness there's not much to report on that front! I might have, accidentally, a little bit, weighed myself this morning at home...the scales showed 3lbs off but that could all change between now and Wednesday so lets not count our chickens before they've hatched. Or lbs before they're lost, as it were. I also had fish and chips on the seafront yesterday. And an ice cream. And chocolate buttons ('its all coming out now!', I hear you cry), but I did point everything so it should all be fine.
I'm off now, to leave you all with this lovely wordy post - sorry about that. I figure if I'm not getting any revision done I might as well catch some zeds! Oh and hit the gym tomorrow morning...just because I've got exams coming up, doesn't mean I need to get fat again!