3st!!!

Hey guys!

Well, I weighed in this evening with a loss of 1lb this week, bringing me to 42lbs/3st total! I'm sooo excited to have finally got to the 3st mark after getting to the 2st mark back in March :) I'm now focusing on getting to my next mini-goal - 50lbs. Hopefully I will be able to do it before the end of the summer and be able to go back to uni 50lbs lighter than I was in January of this year - how fab would that be?

I am also 100% back to being a pedometer addict! My new one got sent through the other day and I clocked up nearly 17,000 steps today, equating to 7BPs for me. I used them on a Galaxy bar as a post-WI treat. Now I'm watching the Ugly Face of Beauty. It amazes me that despite watching all these botched boob jobs, I still totally want one! Probably something to do with being completely flat-chested and out of proportion, plus the 'it will never happen to me' mentality. Still, nothing to worry about just yet, I've got another 5st to lose before I can worry about making anymore improvements!

Lauren xxx

I Survived Alton Towers!!

Thats right folks, I am back from an adrenaline-filled two days at Alton Towers Resort. We all had an absolutely ace time and the best part is - I stayed on track!

Despite eating out three times in two days, I still managed to keep within my points. Plus I definitely earned myself a few BPs with all the walking, so all is well! For anyone who is planning a trip to a theme park and needs to stick to 26 points, here's how its done :)

Monday

Small skinny latte (Costa) 0.5

Wine gums 2

Salt and vinegar walkers 2.5

Homemade rolls (3) 7

Ham, Egg and Chips (Wetherspoons) 11.5

Malibu and Diet Coke 0.5

POINTS: 24/26

Tuesday

Bacon roll with Heinz Ketchup (McDonalds) 5.5

Tropicana 1.5

Piri Piri Chicken Sandwich (Burger King) 4.5

Medium fries (Burger King) 5.5

Lasagne 7

2 slices bread 2

POINTS: 26/26

It just goes to show that you can still enjoy meals out and stick within points, something I will be vehemently reminding myself of next time I even think about going over on a night out. Not that I'm recommending a Maccy D's and a BK on the same day, but you see my point.

Anywaaay, in other news - its WI tomorrow! A cheeky SP this morning showed me at 16st 10lb so I'm hoping to see a loss of at least 1lb this week so I can get my 3rd little blue stone (its about time!!!) I am aware that Monday and Tuesday may catch me up as although I was in points, I still ate a lot of junk. We'll just have to see how it goes.

Its also the Tower of London staff 'happy hour' BBQ on Friday evening, which I am very much looking forward to. Most of the people from my department are going, plus my auntie who works in another department (also means I have a lift home, yay!) so it should be a good laugh. I'm planning to wear my black maxi dress and sandals, but we'll have to see on the day. I won't wear it if I'm having a fat day.

So, all in all I'm in a mighty fine mood. The only fly in the ointment is a slight cock-up with my wages this month. Basically I haven't been paid for the overtime I did at the beginning of the month, which is going to cause serious problems when it comes to insignificant (NOT) things like rent and train fares. I'm going to speak to payroll about it tomorrow but in the meantime lets all keep our fingers crossed that my tax rebate from last summer will show up soon!!!

I'm off to get showered and ready for bed now, I think I'm still carrying a sleep deficit from Alton Towers (worst hotel I've ever stayed in, bar none!) but I will update on all things WI tomorrow.

Much love!!!

Lauren xxx

Self-Serve Is The Enemy Of Weight Watchers

Ok, so I'm at my dads at the moment. And foodwise, I've been so good during the day.

Like, so good.

And then I have proceeded to completely fuck it with the evening meal.

See, the thing is, my step-mum is a big fan of the 'self-serve' type meal. I can't really blame her, as there are six of us in the house and we all like and dislike different things, so it is easier to do it this way. And by 'this way', I mean load the table up with lots of different dishes and everyone serves their own dinners.

Which is fine, unless you have the willpower of...someone who doesn't have very much willpower.

Like me.

Yesterday it was Indian food. The homemade kind. The chicken curry wasn't too bad, and the naan bread was a WW one (it was rank, don't go there). But the rice, saag aloo, bombay potatoes, and popadoms...not so good.

Then tonight: chicken salad. How bad can it be, I hear you cry. But alas, it is very bad.

The chicken was probably about 2pts. I had about six baby new potatoes, which was also probably about 2pts (they were teeeny). The 0pt salad had...get this...feta cheese in it!! Why take something 0pts and give it pts! Madness! Anyway, had a few cubes of that, a drizzle of low-fat dressing and a spoonful of pasta salad (tomato-ey type sauce, really very good.) Oh, and a small piece of ciabatta. And a glass of wine. Whoops.

Once I've added it all up I'm sure it'll be fine (I had only used 10pts so far anyway) but still! What is wrong with a good old-fashioned dinner where you're handed a plate and thats what you eat? All this namby-pamby, self-service, new-age bollocks is ruining my diet!!

Oh, and the other danger point...CHOCOLATE! My stepmum is a primary school teacher, and as it was the last day of term yesterday her class have given her lots of presents in the form of chocolates. Now everytime I go into the kitchen I feel compelled to eat one. And then not point it.

...I'm screwed, aren't I?

I must admit, I already feel much better for having confessed my sins. Now I just need to stop sinning! I'll let you know how it goes, but my guess is it won't be good :'(

Lauren xxx

Just Got Back From Weigh-In...

...and I lost 0.5lb this week.

Part of me is thrilled, the other part is extremely frustrated as I am now just 1lb away from the 3st mark. I would have loved to have got my 3st on my 6 month anniversary, but alas it was not to be!

BUT I'm not really that surprised. I got weighed first thing last week, meaning I was automatically a couple of lbs lighter than if I'd been weighed in the evening. I also had Nandos that afternoon and chocolate on Saturday at the cinema, so its not like I've been super good. And I will admit now that I am fully intending to have a Subway at work tomorrow. The low-fat version, but a Subway none-the less. I've craved one all week but have held off because of WI and not being good at the end of last week, but tomorrow I'm going to treat myself :)

Unfortunately this is just going to be a quickie from me as me and the bro are off to dads this evening. I'm working tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday, and then Monday we're off to Alton Toooweerrrs :D There's eight of us going - me, George, Dad, Casey (the wife), Amy and her friend Alex, and Caseys George (yes, I know, its confusing). Alton Towers is bound to involve lots of fast food but I'm determined to make good choices and am going armed with my eating out guide and points calculator!!

Anyway, must dassshhh!

Lauren xxx

Just A Quickie From Me...

I have thoroughly enjoyed my day off today, although foodwise its been a mare! I always have so little structure on my days off, I miss the breakfast-lunch-dinner format because I always sleep through breakfast! Anyway, it wasn't a disaster and I am within my points. I also managed a good long walk with the dogs which definitely earned me a couple of BP's so all is well :)

I have also just realised that this week will be my official 6month anniversary at Weight Watchers (I may have got the dates wrong before...my bad!) I started on the 23rd January and will be weighing in on the 22nd July, so its almost 6months to the day! It would be amazing if I got my 3st on my 6month anniversary but if I don't it won't be the end of the world, I'll just get it next week instead :)

Anyway, I am off to bed now (although I won't be able to sleep, just watched Eclipse again and now FAR too excited!) Am planning a walk up to the High Street tomorrow and then cooking a curry for the fam (this evenings spag bol went down very nicely).

Lauren xxx

Its FRIIIIDAAAYY

Ok, I know its not really, but as I have tomorrow and the day after off work its my version of Friday, which is good enough for me! :)

I have actually had a remarkably good day, despite being ridiculously tired from all these early mornings! I walked up to Billericay Station this morning (about 25minutes) then from Liverpool Street Station to the Tower (about 15minutes) and then back again after work, which adds up to about 80minutes of walking. Plus I was covering breaks today at work which meant lots of running up and down stairs and between boxes trying to find stuff which definitely doesn't do any harm! I haven't got my pedometer at the moment because its broken, but when I had it on me at work before I was clocking up between 5 and 7 bonus points a day from all the walking.

I have also made some revelations food-wise today, the first of which being breakfast is SO important!! For the last week or so I've been having either toast or a fruit salad for breakfast, which has not been filling me up and normally results in me being absolutely ravenous by 11am. This morning I went back to the old Weight Watchers message boards classic - Oat So Simple!! Add skimmed milk, whack in the microwave for two minutes and BAM! You have yourself a super-filling brekkie for 2pts! I've taken a stock of OSS into work with me and from now on will be having a bowl when I get in, accompanied by a cuppa to set me up for the day!

My second revelation was that vegetables are my friends! Since I've been home for the summer I haven't been eating as many veggies (when I was at uni I practically lived on roasted veg) but tonight I cooked chicken and veg kebabs for everyone and it was LUSH! Me and mum marinaded the chicken first and then I whacked them in the oven, serve with pitta breads and salad and you're done. It was the most enjoyable dinner I've had in ages and its reminded me how much I enjoy cooking. As I'm off tomorrow and Wednesday I've offered to cook dinner then as well - tomorrow is Spag Bol and Wednesday will be chicken curry (Tesco Light Options Masala Sauce - if anyone hasn't tried it I recommend you do so immediately. If not sooner. Its amaaaazing!) Anyway, my point. The veg really made the kebabs interesting, colourful and pretty to look at and tasted amazing :) and made it all much more filling! The whole meal came in at 7pts, meaning I had enough left over for a few snacks after dinner, which is doubly impressive as I caved in to temptation on the way home from work and got a Mocha Lite Frappuchino from Starbucks...oops. Despite all that I've come in at bang on my 26pts for the day, yippeeeee! :)

Anyway, the gist of this post? Porridge = good. Veggies = good.

And as for tomorrow...SLEEP! I'm going to have a good lie-in and then I'm going to take the dogs for a nice long walk in the woods. Afterwards I'm going to pop up the high street to pay in a cheque and get some things for dinner, and then spend the evening relaxing with a film or a good book. Bliss!!

Good luck to anyone getting weighed tomorrow, and to anyone reading this I hope you all have a good day :)

Lauren xxx

Another Less Than Perfect Weekend

Ok, first of all I'm going to start this blog by saying I am extremely irate. Here I thought it was supposed to be the teenage daughter who drove her parents mad (and to be fair, I did do plenty of that when I was 15) but now its the other way round!!! I suppose I should thank them really, because in a perverse way they're doing me a favour. Every time I think I might actually like to be in a relationship with someone - a functional, grown-up, mutually respectful relationship - I can look at my mummy and my daddy and it will remind me that no such thing exists!! They were miserable when they were together and they're miserable with their new partners, so what sort of example does that set me and my brother? I don't know how they expect us to be normal when we have to live with the repercussions of their relationship dramas!

Wow, that was completely irrelevant to anything to do with Weight Watchers or my life, but it sure felt good to get it off my chest!!

Now, onto the important stuff....somebody PLEASE slap me round the face, hard, because I have yet again had a bit of a naughty weekend! After WI on Thursday I went to Nandos with the full intention of having a salad...and ended up with a chicken burger, chips AND garlic bread and a free 1/4 chicken from my loyalty card...EEEK. Then we went to the cinema to see Eclipse and Danielle and I shared some crispy m&ms. I said no to dinner that night and was good all day Friday, then yesterday me and mum went to see Inception (I hold my hands up to being a total cinema geek!!) and not only did I eat the packet of revels I'd bought for myself (3.5pts) I also then proceeded to scoff the malteasers (another 3.5pts) which put me 3pts over for the day! DAMMIT!

I've managed to be good again today at work but I haven't been able to point dinner :/ Mum made her signature dish and my absolute favourite meal, Goulash and braised red cabbage (for those of you who don't know, Goulash is a kind of tomato-y beef stew with veggies, but it was quite oily) and I had a couple of spoons of rice with it. I had 12.5pts left for the day so I should be ok - fingers crossed! I'm pretty sure I won't see much of a loss this week anyway as I weighed in first thing in the morning last week and will be going back to evenings this week, which can make all the difference on the scales sadly! We will have to see...

In other news, tomorrow is the HRP Tower of London Admissions Group B version of Friday!! Its the last of my four-days-on and I have Tuesday and Wednesday off - its a midweek weekend!! I'm so looking forward to having a good long sleep because early mornings definitely don't agree with me! I'm also hoping I won't be constantly hungry because I am definitely seeing a correlation between work and the desire to stuff myself! Am I the only one this happens to??? I do hope not.

OH OH OH. One more thing. My cousin uploaded some pics of me onto Facebook late last week that I thought I'd share :)

This one is of me and my little cousin Olivia. It was taken in July 2008, a couple of months before my 18th. This was just after my first encounter with Weight Watchers, I think I weighed about 13.5st.

This one was taken at Christmas 2007 (how cute is the baby, by the way?! Thats Olivia as well!) This was pre-WW and I think I was in the region of 14st, about 3st less than I weigh now. I'm amazed at how different my face looks in both these pictures, particularly the top one. Granted it was a couple of years ago now but still. I actually look quite pretty - and thats a word I've never used to describe myself before!! I'm also amazed that these photos exist. I had forgotten that I used to like having my photo taken!!!

Anyway, thats all from me for now! Just thought I'd share those pics and use them as my inspiration to keep going :) Have a good evening everybody!!

Lauren xxx

Weigh-In

Well I weighed in this morning and have lost another 3lb, meaning I have now lost a grand total of 2st 12.5lb. It also puts me well and truly into the 16s club - WOOOOP!!

Anndddd only another 1.5lb to go until I hit the 3st mark, which is incidentally 15% of my original body weight, how exciting!!

I'm so pleased to finally be out of the 17s, especially considering I got to 17st 11.5lb (my 2st and 10% weight) back in March and have been bouncing up and down in the same stone bracket ever since!! Holidays, exams and generally feeling rubbish have meant that I stayed the same for several weeks and only started losing again once I got home and got myself organised for the summer. But now I'm in the 16s nothing can stop me!! I plan to continue to lose every week for the rest of the summer and if I can keep my losses steady at 2lb a week I could well be in the 15s by the time I go back to Uni in the middle of September - how awesome would that be!? I know its a tall order, especially considering I will be going to V Festival in August and Alton Towers at the end of this month - they will both be frought with food peril - but I've lost consistently for the last four weeks so there's no reason I can't carry on doing it is there now!?

Anyway, I thought I'd give a little update before I carry on with my day! Going to lunch at Nando's with the best bud Danielle this afternoon (salad and diet coke for me!) and then going to see Eclipse! Eeeee exciting stuff! As I was up early I think I might try to squeeze in an hours sleep before I go meet her though, I'm already feeling sleepy and its not even midday yet!!

ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz

Lots of lurveeee

Lauren xxx

I'm Lovin' It.

Ok, here's the thing...I love food. I mean, I really really really love food. You don't get to be the size I am unless you love food.

Since being on Weight Watchers, my whole attitude to food has changed - which is exactly the point.

See the thing about counting and writing down everything you eat is that it makes you feel immensely guilty. Every time you write something down part of you thinks 'did I really need that?'

If you're a good Weight Watcher (as I like to think I am), then normally the answer is yes.

I said normally.

For example on Friday, when I had a Subway. I chose the low-fat option, said no to cheese and had light mayo instead of full-fat. I also had a diet coke and passed on dinner that night.

But MY GOD, the guilt nearly killed me.

It happened again this morning. I went to Starbucks and got a Mocha Lite Frappuchino. 3 points. 3 stinking points, and yet I've spent the rest of the day obsessing about it.

It was only when I walked into the staffroom to be greeted by the sight of one of my colleagues devouring yet another KFC meal that I realised what an absolute cock I was being.

I had an extra 3 points. SO WHAT? I'm still only on 15 points now, meaning I have another 12 for dinner and a snack afterwards, so what am I freaking out about? Sometimes the guilt I feel from treating myself becomes so all-encompassing that I struggle to remember what my eating habits used to be like compared to what they are now.

Breakfast

Before: Nothing

Now: 2 slices of brown toast or a bowl of porridge

Lunch

Before: Soup with four slices of thick white bread or beans on toast with cheese

Now: Bagel or pitta bread with turkey and salad, cucumber and tomatoes, yoghurt

Dinner

Before: HUGE portion of pasta, jar of sauce, tuna or chicken, or a large lamb kebab with chips

Now: Salads/Stir-frys/Grilled fish or chicken/LOTS of roasted veggies

Snacks

Before: Ben and Jerrys, biscuits, chocolate, crisps, bread

Now: Fruit, two finger KitKat, yoghurts, sugar-free jelly

Yeah...so what the hell have I got to feel guilty about, right?

Comings and Goings

I may have jumped the gun when I complained about the weather this morning. Turns out rain = a quiet day at work, which is never bad. In case I haven't mentioned it, I work at the Tower of London during the holidays and as one of the biggest tourist attractions in the city it gets pretty busy from June through til September.

Anyway, today wasn't too bad thankfully, busy enough to past the time but not busy enough to induce any stress, so happy days indeed :)

I am, however, feeling a bit overwhelmed with the other aspects of my life atm. Before Weight Watchers, my size wasn't something I ever discussed. I hadn't weighed myself for over a year, I always went clothes shopping alone so nobody saw what size I had to buy. The only person who ever mentioned it was my mum and even then I'd bite her head off! Since starting Weight Watchers though, I have become very open about it. Everybody in my life knows I'm doing Weight Watchers and I'm happy to answer any questions. There are quite a few people who know what I weigh (potentially the whole world in fact, as I've posted it on here...eeeeek!) so its not like the actual number is a closely guarded secret either.

Anyway, my point...understandably opening up about such a personal thing to so many people has been very difficult for me, and has made me feel incredibly vulnerable. Especially over the last few weeks as I have had to explain it to a whole host of new people at work. They're all great about it, but its still quite scary as I never know how people will react. Then, amidst all the uncertainty and vulnerability created by this situation walks somebody who I thought I had said goodbye to a long time ago. Part of me is glad we're talking again, even though it is about trivial things that don't really matter to either of us - we never discuss the big stuff. The other part of me, however, knows I should be running for the hills. This person has caused me untold heartache over the years and I know that I should hate them and want nothing to do with them. But I'd love to be able to look back on my life one day and say 'yeah, we had a few crap years, but we came out of it as friends'. We were incredibly close once, and knew almost everything about each other. I think the tiny romantic part of my brain believes that a bond like that never goes away.

The rational part of my brain is telling me to stop being a dick.

This post has not been very Weight Watchers related, and is once more a sort of thinking-out-loud post...just to make myself feel slightly less guilty about talking utter crap (again), I think I should tell you that I'm so far resting on about 15pts for the day, and I have a yummy 8pt chicken stir-fry for tea. I even treated myself to a Mocha Lite Frappuchino from Starbucks this morning, which was yummy. I definitely love Weight Watchers atm.

Only two days to WI, lets see if I'm still singing the same song come Thursday....

Lauren xxx

Rain, Rain, Go Away...

Its raining. This is not acceptable weather for July.

I am not impressed.

That is all.

:)

SP's, NSV's and other WW madness.

Ok, first of all I am very pleased to report that I managed to behave myself at the Harvester!! 8oz rump steak, 5 king prawns (I do love surf 'n' turf) and lots of salad cart. I pointed everything and even had enough for a Malibu and soda and lime at the restaurant and a sliver of chocolate birthday cake when we got home, and I still came in 3pts under for the day....WOOP!

Secondly, I thought I'd take the time to detail and few NSVs. First of all, LOTS of compliments on Saturday from friends about my weight loss which = BIG smiles :) I also felt fabulous because I was wearing a size 14 dress....ok, ok, so it was a maxi dress so its hardly form-fitting, and ok so it was from Evans and they're sizes are always generous anyway, and OK so it had a stretchy bit at the back...it still counts, ok!? I felt a bit self conscious about my arms and shoulders in it, but that was nothing a few Malibu and diet cokes didn't solve....

Anyway, next NSV. I bought a pair of size 18 shorts from Dorothy Perkins and few months ago. Not short shorts, you understand, they come to about 2in above my knee - but thats short for me! When I got them they were still too tight, very muffin top and camel toe - not a good look. But yesterday I chucked them on and they fit! YAAAY!!! When I took my brother home my mum couldn't get over it and kept saying how good I look and how its really obvious how much weight I've lost now, and she said when I get to goal I should become a plus-size model (as 'plus-size' is size 12-14 and thats the size I'd like to be...personally I still think its kinda sick that a size 12 is 'plus-size') but I don't think thats going to happen somehow!!!

OH, and my other news, that I somehow managed to neglect to mention over the weekend, is that I got a 2:1 for my first year at uni, so I will most definitely be heading back in September for year numero dos! It was a bit sketchy at one point, as I was feeling very down and struggling to sleep/concentrate/get out of bed in the mornings and I thought my grades were going to really suffer as a result...how I managed a 2:1 I'll never know, but I'm not complaining!

This is turning into another mammoth rambling post. I am SO sorry to whoever (if anyone!) is reading this, but I'm just kind of thinking out-loud, or on the keyboard, or whatever. Final piece of good news... I SP'd this morning and was pleasantly greeted by a reading of 17st 0.5lb - meaning that another 1lb will put me into the 16s!! Granted, it was first thing in the morning which is kind of a cheat, but I was still pleased! As I'm at dads for the week I was planning to weigh-in at the nearest meeting on Thursday, but I can't seem to find my card. Its probably at home. If I can't find it I will miss WI this week and just WI next week when I'm back at mums...could mean I see an even better loss, which would be nice!

Ok, I think thats everything...for now at least. I've just eaten a yummy seafood salad for my tea, courtesy of the step-mummy. Prawns, crayfish, smoked salmon, crabsticks, rollmop...you get the idea. That has put me on about 23pts for the day, which leaves 4pts for some wiggle room. I'm now about to go rummage through the garage to see if I can salvage any of the old bikes that have been gathering dust in there for years, so I can put one of them to use. I must get cycling more in preparation for my Lands End to John O'Groats cycle marathon with my gorgeous friend Rosie next year....

Much love to everyone on this fine evening :)

Lauren xxx

Happy Birthday Baby Bro!

Today my baby brother George turns 14! This makes me feel very, verrryyy old. I remember quite clearly going to the hospital the day after he was born to bring him and mum home. They let me hold him in the hospital and his head looked like a little scrunched up potato. BLESS!

Not only is George's birthday today, but my little sister Amy started her first ever job last night, waitressing at the country club up the road from dads house. EEK. I sound like a sentimental parent but I really can't believe they're so grown up.

I still remember them like this:

But they actually look like this:

And this:

(Amy is on the right by the way, in the multi-coloured dress. The one is black is her friend Rosie)

Yeah, definitely not bubbas anymore! :( Which kind of scares me to be honest, because if they're almost grown-up, it means I must be grown-up already. My mum always says things to me like 'you're an adult now' but I just don't feel like an adult! Thing is, I don't know if thats specific to me or whether all people in my age and situation feel like that? I'm an independent person and always have been, but I still feel like I need mummy and daddy there to look after me. Even though I live on my own at uni I still speak to one or both of them everyday and the thing is, I will continue to be dependent on them for several more years yet. I'll need them to be around when I've finished uni and while I try to find my feet, get a job, save up for somewhere to live...I don't think either of them realise this, but I won't be fully moved out of their houses until I'm at least 26.

I do realise I'm rambling, but what I'm getting at is whether I still feel like a kid because, despite being almost 20, I still essentially am a child in the financial/home sense, or is this feeling common to all people my age who are going through the weird transition of child to adult? I know plenty of girls my age and younger who have babies, live with their boyfriends/fiances, etc. By the time my mum was my age she had a one year old (Little me! Ahhh...) but did she still feel like a child, or did she feel like a proper, responsible, grown-up? Because I'll be honest...I don't think I'm ever going to feel like a proper, responsible adult.

Anyway, enough pondering about my inability to grow up, and on to the business at hand...

I got drunk last night. I don't really remember how many drinks I had but I stuck to the Malibu and diet coke (or soda and lime - summer in a glass! omnomnom) and fruit-based cocktails. I think I had about a pitcher and a half of Woo Woos, which is vodka, malibu and cranberry juice, so its not really that naughty. And I didn't have the usual post-pub Maccy D's or Kebab, despite being offered several. GO ME! Instead I had a couple of leftover BBQ bits when I got in :) All in all fairly successful I would say, which is more than can be said for Thursday and Friday when I had Fish and Chips and Subways...the Subway was within my points, the Fish and Chips, not so much...but still, onwards and downwards as my Weight Watchers chums would say :)

I'm going to attempt to get another hours sleep now (I was woken by a very excited George at 9am and I was, and probably still am, very drunk) and then this afternoon we're going to the Harvester for his birthday - I WILL make good choices!

Lauren xxx

2.5lb to go until...

...I move into the next stone bracket. Ok, ok, so I only lost 0.5lb, but its definitely better than nothing and its definitely better than I was expecting!

Unfortunately it doesn't change the fact that I have to get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow :( I start work at 8.30 which means I need to be on the train at 7.30 latest...yuck. And then I'm at dads for a week! Hoping for a good loss next week to bring me ever closer to the 16s, so my goals for the week at daddy-os are as follows...

• Do more exercise! If I'm going to work from dads next week I won't be getting my 25 minute walk to and from the station every day, so instead I'm going to restart my C25K from scratch (I only did it once anyway so its not like I'm going too far backwards...) I'm going to run on Sunday morning and then hopefully Tuesday evening and Thursday morning...its so AWKWARD trying to fit exercise around work!
• Eat my points. Over the last few weeks I've slipped into the dangerous habit of not eating all my points, so this week I'm going to make the effort to eat at least 25/27 a day. Because its so hot I don't ever feel like eating anything too heavy but I'm sure I'll think of some way to bump up the points...
• Drink lots of water. Admittedly I've been better at this since I've been back at work, but the problem lies mostly at home so i'm going to have one can of diet coke at work with my lunch, and then only drink water for the rest of the day :)
• Be more positive!! My mum explained to me recently the 'law of attraction' and the whole positive thinking philosophy, and how thinking positively can affect your life etc, so this week I am going to think positively about Weight Watchers, work, family, friends, and everything else.

I'll let you know how it goes!

Lauren xxx

Weigh-In Tomorrow...

...and I'm pretty sure I've stayed the same, or thereabouts. Ben and Jerrys on Friday night and the BBQ on Sunday have jumped up and bitten me on the bum obviously! I will be at work all next week, out of temptations way, so hopefully I will see the elusive 16something on the scales then instead! :)

Lauren xxx

The issue of weighing yourself comes up regularly in Weight Watchers related discussions. Most are of the opinion that weighing yourself is a bad thing, and that you should only be weighed at the same time every week, at your weigh-in. (p.s I WISH my scales said I was 110lbs...)

When I first started Weight Watchers in January it wasn't really an issue for me. I was living in halls and I didn't have any bathroom scales, so the only time I had the opportunity to weigh myself was if I went to the Boots that was in Canterbury town centre. Even if I went into town I didn't bother most of the time.

Since I've been home for the summer though, thats all changed. The scales are in my room. Actually IN my bedroom, right next to the bed. Thats where they're kept. I can literally step out of bed and onto the fancy electronic scales that tell me my weight to within a tenth of a pound. I thought this would end up being a massive disadvantage to me, but where I differ from most of the other people I know who are doing Weight Watchers (including my mother, who stubbornly refuses to go near the damn things, hence them being banished to my room) is that I find weighing myself a really good motivator. It interests me to know how my weight changes from the morning to the evening, with or without clothes on, etc. And rather than getting deterred when the scales don't show me what I'd like to see, I get this stubborn little determination inside me that says 'Screw you. I AM going to lose this week' which results in me tracking, planning and exercising more for the rest of the week, which does then result in a loss! The only disadvantage is that I no longer get the excited/apprehensive feeling come weigh-in day, but I can live without that!

This whole revelation got me thinking about other things that motivate me. Sometime I feel like I lose sight of the ultimate goal, and that I'm plodding along trying to do this and I don't really have any idea why. So I thought I'd write some of my motivating factors on here so if ever there comes a time when I'm sick of saying 'no' to chocolate, biscuits, takeaways and god knows what else, I can look back and remember why I'm doing it.

• AMERICA! I will be spending the third year of my degree in the states, and there is NO way I'm going out there as the fat, spotty, awkward English girl who is always saying the wrong thing. No, I'm going out there as the slender, attractive English girl who is always saying the wrong thing.
• Confidence. This is a big thing for me, as it is for everybody who is trying to lose weight or change the way they look. I don't like going out, I don't like meeting new people because .I'm scared of what they'll think about me. When I get to goal, I know that I will be able to go out with my head held high because although it still won't be perfect, I'll be proud of my body and of what I've accomplished.
• Clothes... This is incredibly shallow, but what I wouldn't give to be able to buy nice clothes, that fit properly and look good. You can't follow fashion properly when you're fat, its just not possible. And its not fair - I LOVE clothes! Size ten girls really do get all the fun.
• Health. Quite low down the list considering how bloody important it is! I want to be healthy. I've taken huge steps to get more healthy already but I want to have a healthy BMI and an appropriate level of fitness for my age.
• The Summerrrrr. This is gross, but true. Fat girls do not fare well in the heat. After the last few weeks of crazily hot weather I'm thanking sweet Jesus that I'm almost 3st lighter than I was at the beginning of the year, otherwise I'm pretty sure they'd have been carrying me off the train every day in a coffin. Yuck.
• People. When I say people, I mean the relationships I form with them. I've never felt comfortable in my own skin, not ever. Even when I was a lot slimmer than I am now. Something just always wasn't right about me. I always felt awkward and I've never been able to really be myself. This has got worse as the weight has gone on, I've been more depressed and isolated myself. One day, when I'm comfortable and happy with how I look I can begin to form proper relationships again. At the moment I struggle with that a lot - the way I see it, if I don't like myself then how can I expect other people to like me? Its true that this one has a lot more to do with me as person rather than my size, but my size at the moment is the main thing I don't like. Once I've overcome that, I can work on the rest.

Ok, this has turned into a mammoth post but I'm glad I got it all out there. These are the things that motivate me, and now they're all down on paper I'm feeling super-hyped about it. So much so, that I'm going to go make a nice Weight Watchers curry for my dinner and I'm going to go for a jog later. Here's to see 16 something on the scales this week! :)

Lauren xx

Race for Life, BBQs and farrr too much wine!!!

I did it! I did the Race for Life!!!

Now, first of all I do appreciate that this is a picture of a 2008 medal, but I don't have a camera at the moment so I'm having to do the best with what google has to offer!!

So, anyway... I DID IT! 46 minutes and 18 seconds. Ok, so I hardly broke any land speed records and I didn't even jog all of it, but six months ago I was getting chest pains from walking up a flight of stairs so for me to be able to jog at all is the most amazing feeling! I jogged the first kilometer and a bit (with a couple of short breaks to catch my breath!) then I powerwalked for about a km, then jogged, then walked, then jogged the last half km or so. I was totally shattered by the end but I felt great and its really made me see that I CAN do this. Its going to be really hard, and its going to take a long time, but I'll get there.

After I'd finished I got showered and dressed and headed round to my auntie's for a BBQ.

Its my aunts birthday tomorrow and my little bros birthday next weekend, so we always do a combined birthday BBQ party type thing. Everyone was there other than and I had a lovely time playing with my two little cousins (they're two and three) I was swinging them around the garden and then we tried to catch frogs out of my aunts pond - I am SUCH a kid!!!

Anyway, confession time - I ate A LOT. And I drank wine. And we all know wine is the enemy. I'm going to have to do some serious damage limitation this week if I want to see a loss on Thursday and I'm well and truly back on the WW wagon now - anything less than a 2lb loss will devastate me. I'm back to work tomorrow and the walking to and from the train station will earn me about 5 activity points, and then on Tuesday I'm going to carry on with the C25K plan. I NEED to lose this weight!!!

Right, I think I've rambled on enough for the time being... time to go plan my menu for tomorrow to make sure I have no excuses for going off-track! I had a sneaky peek on the scales yesterday and they said 17'1.5, which pleased me. After today they won't say that but I'd love to see 16'something on the scales this week. I weighed in at 17'2.5 last Thursday so 3lb off would bring me to 16'13.5 - its a tall order, but not impossible! Here I come low points and exercise!!!

Much love!!!!!

Lauren xxx

Eclipse!

It. Was. AMAAAZING.

Literally, amazing. I spent the entire two hours hyperventilating. Robert Pattinson is, without a shadow of a doubt, the single most GORRRGEOUS man on the face of the planet. Bar none. Although, Taylor Lautner is certainly growing into a strapping young man. And I wouldn't say no to Peter Facinelli either. Or Kellan Lutz....yum. Urm, where was I?

On a more serious, less perverted-workings-of-Laurens-mind note, this evening was NOT Weight Watchers friendly. I treated myself to Ben and Jerrys and have not been tracking properly all day. Me and mum also shared a popcorn (we had to get a large to get the free Edward cups. Thats my story and I'm sticking to it!) I will have to be super good for the rest of the weekend, although that could be difficult as we're going to the cinema again tomorrow night (always fraught with peril!!) and then I have a family BBQ on Sunday! Eeek! Still, I'm doing Race for Life on Sunday as well which will definitely earn me some BPs, and then I will step up the walking during the week and track religiously. I WILL lose my 2lb this week to keep me on track for next term!!!

I have to admit though, one thing I have realised from watching Eclipse is I really miss male company! Not in the sexual sense (Ok, maybe a little bit in the sexual sense...I mean, have you SEEN R-Pattz!?!) I've always tended to have more male friends but since I've been at uni I've had more female friends. I love them all a lot but I miss the simplicity of hanging out with boys - they don't obsess as much, they're not as bitchy or judgmental. When I'm with my boy mates I feel more relaxed, more in control of myself, and safer for some reason. I miss that. I will definitely be making the effort next term to extend my friendship group to include more guys :)

Plus, if one of my new boy mates looks like this I won't be complaining...

Ok, I'm stopping now. I promise.

Love from

Lauren Pattinson!

Before and After

Hey guys, me again!

In the spirit of 'how far I've come', I thought I'd upload a 'before' picture.

This picture was taken in mid-December 2009, just before the end of my first term at uni. I hadn't weighed myself for about a year and a half, but judging by clothes sizes I had put on about 2.5st since I'd got to uni. I no longer have the jeans or top I was wearing here, even though they would probably still fit. The jeans were falling apart so I chucked them, and the top is lost in the abyss that is the underneath of my bed! I still have the blazer though, and THANK GOD it actually fits me properly now - before it was all tight across the shoulders and arms, total nightmare.

Unfortunately I don't have any really recent pictures of me, mainly because I still don't like having my photo taken. The best one I have is probably this one:

This picture was taken in late March 2010, I think I'd lost just under 2st at this point. Its not a great picture in terms of from the neck down, and I promise to get a better one up here ASAP! :)

Ok so photos done, what else...

Haven't got much planned for this afternoon, mainly because I have no money at all! All the my funds are going towards paying for my weekly weigh-ins (that is dedication!) I was planning to go for a run but it is farrr too hot today, so I'm going to take the doggies for a lovely long walk in the woods instead (it definitely still counts as exercise!) The at 3.40pm I have an appointment to give blood. It'll be the third time I've donated and I am perversely quite looking forward to it, is that weird? I'm not really sure why, other than the obvious feeling of having done something good for another person. If you have never done it before, and if you're healthy enough to do it, I definitely recommend having a look online for your nearest session :)

And then...tonight...the big event....ECLIPSEEEE. Mum has got preview tickets for tonight and tomorrow (I <3>

Ok, I am off to go for walkies now :)

Byeeeee!

Six Months and Five Days

This is my first ever blog, so I apologise in advance if its intolerably boring!

I'm Lauren, a normal 19-year-old girl who does normal things and has a normal life. I've just finished my first year at Kent University studying English Literature. I have a mum, a dad, a brother, a cat, and a dog. See, totally normal right? I also have a step-mum, a step-dad, a step-brother and a step-sister (and a step-rabbit) but in this day and age, its still pretty normal.

I guess one of the more abnormal things about me is I'm currently in the process of losing about 40% of my original body weight. I started Weight Watchers in January 2010, six months and five days ago. Since then I've lost 2st 9lb, but I still have a colossal 5st 9.5lb left to shed. When I'm talking about losing weight I try not to lapse into the typical cliches, but so far losing this weight has taught me a lot about myself and in the process of getting slimmer and healthier I have had to re-evaluate my entire relationship with food and exercise. Good news is that despite several slip-ups (a one week holiday that resulted in a 6.5lb gain and a week-long uni-style binge that wasn't much better) I haven't given up. I'm determined that by this time next year I will be at my goal weight and will be off for my year in America as a fabulous rather than fat! The main reason that I haven't thrown in the towel yet is due to the incredible support of my family and friends, both at home and at uni, as well some amazing people that I have had the supreme pleasure of getting to know through the Weight Watchers message boards. They have become my inspiration, my encouragement and my reward all rolled into one. I couldn't have done it without them!

I'm hoping this blog will be a source of inspiration and encouragement to me, as well as something I can look back on once I get to goal and use to remember how far I've come. So hopefully you'll like what you read and pop back for regular updates on how little old me is gradually getting littler!

Catch you soon!

Lauren x