Thursday, 25 November 2010

Men Are From Mars...Or Are Women From Venus???

Hey guys. Apologies in advance for the oncoming rant (gender specific, as you had probably already assumed), I feel it is only right to forewarn you of these things so you can leave this blog, go now before you are subjected to any more of this madness!!

...Still here?? Your funeral.

Before I launch into my tirade a little WW update from me....I'm still loving ProPoints!!! Without going into too many details I am suffering from the female affliction this week - hormones all over the place, crying at anything, and all I can think about is fooooooooood. Therefore the 49 extra points have come in very handy for chocolate and other treats! We will have to see how Sunday goes before I offer any solid judgement on the week but so far so good I think!

Now, onto the matter at hand...

Men and women. Ladies and Gentlemen. Boys and girls. Chicks and dicks. Bro's and Ho's.
....I have officially run out of clever things to say.

First and foremost, lets get this out there. I am, by no stretch of the imagination, 'girly'. I have been described, more than once, as a hybrid of the female body and the male ego. I'd like to think I get on with most people, but I always have a better time when I'm with a group that is comprised largely or entirely of guys. Maybe this is because I don't spend the entire time we're out thinking about how fat I am in comparison to them, how nice their hair is or how come I can't get my eye make-up to go how theirs has. When you're with guys there are very few expectations. You're fine, as long as you can keep up with the drinking and you can deal with filthy language. Both of which I can do. Me being comfortable with guys may also come from the fact that I have a brother and several male cousins who were all pretty dominant in my childhood. I was raised around boys, boys are what I know. Maybe its a combination of these two. Or maybe I was just supposed to be born with a willy. Who knows? I sure don't.

Despite me being extremely comfortable around boys, this does not change the fact that I do not understand them at all. This, I believe, is where genetics come into play. I may have been nurtured around a bunch of hooligan lads, but it is in my nature to think like a female. God knows, I've tried to overcome this. Obsessively thinking about a guy, getting jealous when he talks to another girl, the speech you make to yourself (normally in the company of your girlfriends) saying that 'he's not worth it, I can do better, I'm not going to contact him again', then the inevitable text you send to him, first chance you get. Been there, done it, hated myself for it. I think the majority of girls know what I'm on about right now. Some of the boys probably do as well.

What I'm getting at here is this - I think I have a reasonably good understanding of both sexes most of the time. I can relate. I'm comfortable talking to both, I can see it from both perspectives. The majority of the time I see it more from the guys side than the girls. So why is it, every now and again, one of these strange creatures with their dangly sex organs creeps up and completely blindsights me? Are these men genuine exceptions who I will never understand, or are all men really another species? Maybe the majority of the ones that I know and like, the ones who I think I even understand, I don't. Maybe I'm completely missing the point. Maybe the below is true for everyone.

Case in point.
I have a group of male friends. I've known them for a while. At one time or another I have been quite good friends with all of them. Over the last few weeks I would say I have been closer to one in particular - lets call him #2 (with the obvious assumption that the others are #1 and #3). This year they are all living together, and they have new housemates. One of these housemates appears to have taken against me. We'll call him #4. At the beginning of the term #4 and I got on reasonably well. We irritated eachother, but we could be civil and even have a laugh, and I was under the impression that it was #5 who was the token arse of the house (I was even assured by others that this was the case.) This perception of mine has changed over the last week or so, after some quite pleasant time spent in the company of #5, whereas #4 seems to be growing more and more disdainful towards me. This is not me being paranoid, it was even noted by #1 and #3.

You may need to bear with me here. I promise I'm going somewhere with this.

At the weekend #2 and #4 thought it would be funny to tell some of the others a lie about me. Personally I think its quite a big lie, but they seem to think its a joke and I'm taking it the wrong way and that I should, and I quote #4 here, 'get a grip'. They don't understand why I'm upset with them. I am particularly upset with #2, because I thought he was my friend, and I thought he knew better than to say something like this, particularly as he knows how quickly nasty rumours spread. I don't really understand why #4 did it either. If he doesn't like me its fine, but there's no reason to be outright nasty. Its not like I've done anything to him. I will hold my hands up and admit I said some nasty things to/about them when I found out, but that was in anger and totally justified by my overwhelming sense of violation. And the thing that is angering me more than anything isn't that they did it, its that they won't admit that maybe, just maybe, they were a little out of line. It will snow on the hills of Hell before either of them utter the word 'sorry'. 

I've outlined my point is this. Never, and I mean never, would a girl have done this and thought it was acceptable. Never would a girl find this funny, never would it have crossed a girls mind to tell an outrageous lie about a guy, to his friends, and expect him to laugh about it. It just wouldn't have happened. If this had happened, if I had told a group of mutual female friends the same lie about #2 or #4, they would have gone mental and I would be outcast and branded forever more as a liar. They know that as well as I do. So its one rule for the males and another for the females apparently. I just can't figure out whether I'm taking it too seriously or they're not taking it seriously enough. I would never have expected this, particularly from #2. He was one of the aforementioned guys who I counted as a good friend, obviously that was wrong of me. But now I don't know whether these two are the exceptions, or whether all guys are like this. Half of me is expecting every other male friend I have to do something similar. I think men must be from Mars, because I don't think I'm being particularly irrational about this. Or maybe men and women are both from Earth, and I'm from a planet completely my own?

My head hurts.

And of course, on top of all that, it all comes back to weight watchers as well....I can't help but wonder, would this 'joke' have been quite so funny if I was a size 8? I think not.

Lauren xxx


  1. The difference with men is that, mentally, they never really grow up. They say it's girls that are gossipy, but I've had the pleasure of meeting many guys who are a lot more gossipy (and bitchy), especially when it comes to girls.
    I have no idea what this situation is about, but, the only thing I would suggest is to leave these guys alone for a while. And perhaps not trust them as much? It's a shame but once something like that has happened, many friendships can't be the same.

  2. I agree with Rach, maybe best thing to do is put a cool on the friendship, obviously they cant be trusted to be mature people when together. It must be difficult for you being in this situation, but it is important to remember that like girls are bithcy, not all guys are complete toooossssserrrrrrrrrs.


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