Monday, 18 October 2010

Kidney Infections Suck

Ok, so yesterday was not fun. It all started out Ok-ish, felt a little rough in the morning but I figured that was the booze from the night before so I just got on with it. By 8pm I had a temperature of 102.8 and was ready to throw myself under the next on-coming vehicle I could find. Unless that vehicle happened to be a Peugeot or a KA, as I'm pretty sure I'd do more damage to them than they would to me. Anyway, you take my point.

After a rather amusing conversation with an NHS Direct lady ('you have tonsilitus' 'no, I don't' 'yes, you do' 'my tonsils were taken out four years ago so no, I don't) I was told to go to 'the nearest available medical facility' to get checked out. That I did, and I have a kidney infection. Fuuuun. Two weeks antibiotics = no boozing for a fortnight. I can tell you now, ain't gunna happen! Stupid kidneys. I did not become a student so I could be sober for two weeks. I don't actually think I have been sober for a solid two week period since I turned sixteen. Which is slightly scary in itself.

I blame the parents.

Anyway, despite being in a ridiculous amount of pain (the drugs only take the edge off when you double-dose them with other painkillers, as I found out this evening) I managed to battle my way up to the campus this afternoon where I managed to see three people that I'd like to punch in the space of about three minutes of each other. All of them are from back home. I swear to God, they're out to get me. I don't mean to sound paranoid, but seriously, what is that!? Of all the universities in all the countries in all the world, these three cretins had to choose mine. The people I like fuck off to Birmingham and London. The ones I'd like to harm, come to Canterbury. CHRISSSSSTTT.

One day soon I will have something positive to post about.

It might even have something to do with Weight Watchers. But I'm making no promises on that one!

At the moment I'm just using this blog to rant. In fact, I might just create a list of annoyances and get it over and done with.

  1. The fact that half my secondary school are now at the same university as me.
  2. Party in the USA. Or not, as it were. This annoyance links quite nicely to annoyance #1 in that the whole point of America was to get away from the madness for twelve months. And also to meet a rich, hot, American guy who I will eventually marry. And we'll live in the suburbs and have three kids who say 'mom' and I will do charity work, because thats what women in my situation do. This links to annoyance #3:
  3. Because I'm ill, I have automatically reverted to shite eating today to make myself feel better. Note to self: peanut butter on toast and chocolate, while delicious, does not constitute a healthy balanced meal. Nobody likes a heifer, particularly aforementioned hot, rich Americans.
  4. The fact that the entire education system seems to be run by a load of pompous left-wing idiots who have nothing better to do than harp on about how evil Cameron is. Stop whining about what a bunch of Nazis the Conservatives are and just accept the fact that your party spend 13 years shitting all over us. And STOP trying to convert me to your bleeding-heart way of thinking. Aint gunna happen folks, sozzzz.
  5. Men. I just don't understand them in the traditional male-female context. When I'm with a guy who is just a friend, I understand him perfectly. Always on the same page. Might as well have a penis. The rest of the time its completely lost on me.
  6. My housemates. They're making far too much noise.
  7. My seminar leader. She's a colossal bitch. And she wears brown leather sandals with grey tights. I know this shouldn't influence my opinion of her as a person, but it just does.
  8. Student Finance. I just want my moneyyyy. Just so I can pay the rent. And eat. And have a life. And buy those really nice boots from New Look (before any of you start, yes, they are a priority. Mine have holes in!)
Ok, so there you go. There are my annoyances right now. I've just read that back and I sound like such a whingy miserable bitch. That so isn't what I'm like (any unfortunate fellow who is a regular reader of this blog will know that) I normally try to see the bright side.

Just so I'm not tempted to have a nice hot bath with a side order of slashed wrists, here are some of my bright sides:

  1. I have an amazing family. Granted, they're all fucking mental, but they're all healthy and happy.
  2. My friends are wicked. No, really. Heidi, Sonia, Em, Cat, Katie, Soph, Annie, Rosie, Adam, Jack, Jon, Matt, James, Jack B, Amy, Nat, this list could go on forever. Even if they're not reading this, I still want them to know I love them lots :')
  3. I might be ill and bitchy at the moment, but I am generally in good health and happiness.
  4. I might not be the most intelligent person out there, but I like to think that I'm reasonably bright and that I will be able to make something of myself.
  5. I'm slightly on the elephantine side now, but I'm a lot slimmer than I was this time last year. This time next year I'll be slimmer still. Its definitely going in the right direction!
  6. My hair looked nice today.
  7. I found a fiver in my coat pocket.
Ok, I'm about 110% sure that I've bored you all enough now. Also, I just took a huge batch of yummy tablets and they're making me dopey. So I'm going to head off to the land of nod!

Sweet dreams!

Lauren xxx


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